We always wanted our first-born to be a boy. I’m not exactly sure what happened, but along the way I was convinced I was having a girl. It’s really funny when I think about it now, because back when I didn’t know the gender I kept looking for signs to tell me if I was having a boy or a girl. Of course, there are plenty of ways to guess the gender of your baby, but none of them are accurate. I did them anyway, as I think I needed something (anything) to appease my curiosity, even if it didn’t make any sense.

Like when I listened to family and friends, and even random people when they told me I was having a girl because I was glowing. I was told you became uglier if you were having a boy (like you would be prone to breakouts and dry, dull skin), and prettier if it was a girl. I should’ve just thanked them for the compliment and not given it a second thought. This isn’t necessarily true haha. My skin actually looks better now that I’m pregnant with my baby boy.

I even tried a gender experiment one night when I found this mom-to-be on YouTube who claimed you can find out the gender of your baby by peeing on baking soda. If it fizzes then you’re having a boy, and if it doesn’t then it’s a girl. It seemed easy enough. I tried it and my pee didn’t fizz, so of course, I was convinced (after all it was a scientific experiment haha). Don’t waste your time on this one, this isn’t accurate at all.

Oh and I took advice from a Balinese medicine man (only Ketut Liyer of Eat, Pray Love fame) who predicted that I was to have three children: one girl and two boys. My first is definitely not a girl, so maybe, just maybe he got confused with my reading (he is 90 years old after all) or didn’t read it chronologically. He could still be right–let’s see how it goes in these next couple of years.

So I read all the signs and I was convinced my baby was a girl. I was so sure I began browsing baby girl sections online and even came up with style pegs for her. You could imagine how surprised I was to find out we are having a baby boy. I was in complete shock at our ultrasound that tears were streaming from my eyes for a good hour after the doctor showed us that it was a boy. I was so wrong! All the signs pointed to girl, but apparently, IT’S A BOY! Of course, ultimately I am happy because the baby is normal and healthy, but in a way everything is different once you find out the gender. Whether you like it or not, you are bound to imagine the baby’s future, and gender drastically changes your daydream/fantasy.

Instead of pretty bows and dresses, I began looking at sporty, rugged clothes for my baby boy to get dirty in. I know, my baby girl could be as sporty as a boy, and my boy can be as calm and behaved as any girl could be. But at that point, I couldn’t help it. Blue and pink seemed different as night and day. I couldn’t help but fall into the gender trap, because it is so much easier to think blue=boy and pink=girl.

My husband didn’t seem to have this dilemma. He told me that whether our baby turned out to be a boy or girl he still had plans of bringing our baby to the beach and teaching him/her how to swim, and he still would get him/her into sports and martial arts, if he/she wanted. He would basically raise our child the same way no matter what the gender is. Then it hit me: maybe that’s the way I’m supposed to think and not get so caught up with boy/girl thinking. I should base it on my baby’s personality and interests and just play it by ear instead of assuming he would fit into a mold. Obviously, my overthinking got me nowhere. All my signs were wrong, and in the end it doesn’t really matter whether or not he is a boy or girl haha.

But hey, let me announce it again: WE ARE HAVING A BOY! We are elated, joyous and excited for this little baby to come into our lives. I honestly don’t know what to expect but I know that no matter what, I will love him with all my heart and soul. I cannot wait to meet you, and I promise, all your things wont be blue.