I’ve been debating to myself for some weeks now whether or not I should share this.
I’ve had a bit of a health scare recently, and finally got the results that I am in fact healthy, so I figured I can talk about it now. Otherwise, I wouldn’t. Because it wouldn’t be a happy ending.
Anyway, I thought that maybe someone could benefit from my experience, and learn from me instead of actually going through it.
So here goes.
Early this year, I’ve been getting horrible vertigo attacks almost every week, which later escalated to every other day. For those of you who haven’t experienced vertigo, well, lucky you. Its a terrible sensation I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It usually starts off with a ringing sound that only gets louder by the minute (usually its in my right ear). I consider this my alarm or warning that vertigo is about to set in. Then it begins. The room starts spinning, and I seem to have lost my balance. I grab on to the nearest thing but still, its like the earth has moved out of its axis and has begun to spin out of control. I get incredibly dizzy and nauseous. But thankfully I haven’t passed out yet. That would’ve been frightening. Then I would have to take my anti-vertigo medicine and sleep. (This is okay if I were at home, but if I were outside this is a scary experience!)
Getting to the bottom of this was quite difficult, because I had to do the process of elimination. Was it something I had eaten? Was it the heat? Did I not sleep enough? Maybe stress? Well, after months of “figuring things out” and of course, seeing a doctor and going through a hearing test and MRI, I’ve found out that it is all of the above. My ringing in the ears in caused by an imbalance in the liquid in my inner ear. This can lead to vertigo because not enough liquid in one ear tells my brain that my world is moving (more like spinning) and so my brain believes it. My dad has this, and so did my lolo so I might have to blame my genes for this. Also it is caused by my never-know-when-to-stop lifestyle that my dad says is also a Misa trait.
So pretty much anything can trigger a vertigo attack. Not sleeping enough, not eating at the right time, stress, extreme heat. And to add to that, loud noises, alcohol and caffeine also seem to cause an attack. This meant a total lifestyle change, which admittedly, I wasn’t ready to accept at first.
What?! No more going out late at night and drinking my favorite cocktail? No more coffee or tea to wake me up in the morning?! I have to sleep before 12 midnight or earlier (I usually work better at night, btw)?!! No concerts, beaches, travelling (well, this is a bit extreme, pwede naman but not too much)?!!! I love all these things! How is it possible that I am no longer allowed to do them? (I swear, I went through all the stages of grief for this one.)
And so, I’ve decided to turn things around. Health, after all is wealth. And really, you wont realize how true this saying is until it is taken away from you. Health comes first now. I have made it a point not to overexert myself. No more saying YES to everything, in other words, no more overbooking. There is always tomorrow anyway. No more working till the wee hours in the morning. There has to be a cut off for me, or else an entire day is lost because of an attack. No more getting into my SUPERWOMAN mode, where I can do it all without rest or eating. No more pushing myself to the limit, like I always do.
It seems I cannot do it all after all. But since accepting it, I’ve noticed I haven’t had an attack in weeks. I am more calm and rested now. I make sure to sleep for 8 hours every night. I eat well and on time now, and don’t allow myself to get into a crazy work mode anymore. I’ve learned to let things go–there are things beyond my control and I’m learning to accept this. I’ve learned to value myself and my time, giving my body the care it needs.
I’ve always believed I can do it all and more. Well, I still believe that. I just cant do it all in ONE day. Work and doing stuff for people is all good, there’s nothing wrong with that. Its also important though to take care of yourself. At least that’s what I’ve learned through all this.